Today's seniors have probably noticed that some of the traditional dating rituals may have changed. Now we have Internet dating, speed dating and lunch dating. Don't worry; romance and chemistry are still the key ingredients.
These days the trend in dating, for older seniors, is geared more toward having fun and companionship, rather than for casual sex or marriage. We have seen a shift in people's habits and beliefs. Current events and changes in technology may require you to update your dating style from years ago.
Here are some tips to help seniors in the dating world:
1. A coffee date for the first meeting is a good idea because it keeps the date at an hour or two. Also, these places are usually crowded, well lit, safe and perfect for meeting a stranger. Be practical, not cheap.
2. Cast a wide net.
3. Never give out personal financial details to anyone you have just met.
4. Trust your own instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable, walk away for your own protection and safety.
5. Watch for red flags. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate red flags.
6. Good conversation starters: Comment on his/her hobbies and interests. If yo have children you will never run out of stories. Ask him/her about their favorite restaurant, recipe, or food.
7. 35% of women prefer to date younger men.
8. It's okay to have dating as a lifestyle. Maybe you have spent the good part of your life with a partner, and you want to live the rest of it as a single person. That's fine; just be up front with your date that you are not trying to find another partner.
9. Good hygiene can mean the difference between a polite pat on the back and a night of love. Always take a bath or shower before your outing.
10. The power of a smile should never be underestimated. Use your smile as a secret weapon.
11. Do not approach or try to meet someone at any of the following places: a funeral, a crowded elevator, a dark alley, the XXX aisle of a video store.
12. If your date is going well, mention date number two before date number one is over.
13. Don't get stuck living in the past. Live in the present. Unload your baggage before you start dating.
14. You are never too old to be at risk for HIV. In fact, the fastest growing AIDS rates are among people 50 and older.
15. Even if you don't like your date, do not give him/her a hard time. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
16. Intimate behavior repeated over and over with the same person leads to attachment, regardless of the suitability of the person.
17. To show your date that you are interested, speed up or slow down your speech to match his/hers.
18. Remember, dating as a senior is much easier than dating as a teenager. You have much better social skills now. Get connected with other people who are in your situation.
19. Be honest about what you are looking for from dating. Let your expectations work for you and not against you.
20. Don't confuse sexual attraction with emotional bonding.
Dating is fun at any age. The time to start dating is right now. So, stick out your hand, flash them a smile and meet a new friend.
This article was written by Rebecca Sharp Colmer, a Certiified Senior Advisor and the creator of MeAndMyCaregiver(s), a service designed to help both the care-receiver and the caregiver. It is a lot more than just a personal health record stored online. It is a personal life record and life management system.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Elderly Home Care: 30 Signs Your Loved one may Require Adult Home Care
There are approximately 37 million people over the age of 65 and 5.3 million people over the age of 85. Each year millions of older people start requiring some sort of assistance to carry out their routine daily activities. Family members (family caregivers) provide most of the help.
It is not always easy to know when to intervene. It may seem like your loved one is in a gray area somewhere between competency and incompetence. Your loved one can have a behavior that is not life threatening but still very serious. Making an assessment is the very step. Here are some clues that your loved one may need some extra help:
1. Disheveled clothes
2. Stained or dirty clothes The same outfit worn everyday
3. Unkempt hair
4. Poor hygiene
5. Bad breath
6. Body odor
7. Having trouble walking
8. Having trouble sleeping
9. Dangerous driving
10. Extreme clutter in the home
11. Can't do light housekeeping
12. Items not returned to drawers or cupboards
13. Clothes strewn about or left on floor
14. Medication bottles left open
15. Medications taken out of original containers and mixed up
16. Not much food in house
17. Spoiled or rotten food
18. Unpaid bills
19. Penalties for overdue bills
20. Unopened mail
21. Put on or lost a lot of weight that is unexplained
22. Signs of confusion
23. Signs of forgetfulness
24. Signs of isolation
25. Signs of depression
26. Drastic mood swings
27. Extreme sadness or loneliness
28. Loss of interest in favorite hobby
29. Stopped doing things they used to enjoy like gardening, reading, going to church, seeing friends
30. Can't cope with everyday stress
Even if you determine that your loved one needs some assistance, keep in mind that they may be resistant to your help. Be gentle and compassionate when asking them to accept help. It may take several tries before they start to accept your help. There is a big difference in offering help and completely taking away all of their independence.
However, if your parent's life is in danger and you can't find a way to intervene, call Adult Protective Services, which is a part of the Department of Social Services. They will send a nurse or social worker to your parent's home to determine the risks and find ways to protect your parent.
The caregiver role is complex and differs for everyone depending on the needs of the care-receiver. Many times, in the beginning, there may only be a few needs, such as providing transportation or helping with shopping or cooking. Over time, needs increase, requiring additional services, until the care-receiver is fully dependent on the caregiver.
It is not always easy to know when to intervene. It may seem like your loved one is in a gray area somewhere between competency and incompetence. Your loved one can have a behavior that is not life threatening but still very serious. Making an assessment is the very step. Here are some clues that your loved one may need some extra help:
1. Disheveled clothes
2. Stained or dirty clothes The same outfit worn everyday
3. Unkempt hair
4. Poor hygiene
5. Bad breath
6. Body odor
7. Having trouble walking
8. Having trouble sleeping
9. Dangerous driving
10. Extreme clutter in the home
11. Can't do light housekeeping
12. Items not returned to drawers or cupboards
13. Clothes strewn about or left on floor
14. Medication bottles left open
15. Medications taken out of original containers and mixed up
16. Not much food in house
17. Spoiled or rotten food
18. Unpaid bills
19. Penalties for overdue bills
20. Unopened mail
21. Put on or lost a lot of weight that is unexplained
22. Signs of confusion
23. Signs of forgetfulness
24. Signs of isolation
25. Signs of depression
26. Drastic mood swings
27. Extreme sadness or loneliness
28. Loss of interest in favorite hobby
29. Stopped doing things they used to enjoy like gardening, reading, going to church, seeing friends
30. Can't cope with everyday stress
Even if you determine that your loved one needs some assistance, keep in mind that they may be resistant to your help. Be gentle and compassionate when asking them to accept help. It may take several tries before they start to accept your help. There is a big difference in offering help and completely taking away all of their independence.
However, if your parent's life is in danger and you can't find a way to intervene, call Adult Protective Services, which is a part of the Department of Social Services. They will send a nurse or social worker to your parent's home to determine the risks and find ways to protect your parent.
The caregiver role is complex and differs for everyone depending on the needs of the care-receiver. Many times, in the beginning, there may only be a few needs, such as providing transportation or helping with shopping or cooking. Over time, needs increase, requiring additional services, until the care-receiver is fully dependent on the caregiver.
Elderly Home Care: Ten Caregiver Tips on Home Care for the Elderly
The caregiver role is complex and differs for everyone depending on the needs of the care-receiver. Many times, in the beginning, there may only be a few needs, such as providing transportation or helping with shopping or cooking. Over time, needs increase, requiring additional services, until the care-receiver is fully dependent on the caregiver. Here are some tips to help you get started:
1. Every caregiver should know as much as possible about the care-receiver. You should know their characteristics and personality style. For example, you should know their likes, dislikes, family members, ailments, etc. You should know if the care-receiver is outgoing or reserved, task-oriented or people-oriented. Once you get to know them better you will be able to understand their needs and behavior patterns.
2. Every caregiver should know and understand his/her responsibilities, duties, and tasks. As a caregiver, you have a responsibility to be sensitive to the needs of the care-receiver, and to find a way to satisfy their needs. This may require you to enlist the help of others. The duties of the caregiver usually change and increase over a period of time. Set up and follow a care plan. Recording essential daily information will assist everyone on the Care Team. It also allows another caregiver to take your place fairly easily.
3. Stay updated on the care-receiver’s health condition. As a senior’s health deteriorates and more needs start to surface, it is important for the caregiver to find out how to cope with them. Keep a log of the care-receiver’s daily activities (medicine taken, food intake, sleep habits, temperament, etc.) so that you will always have a snapshot view of the care-receiver’s current health. This information will help the doctor get a more complete picture of the care-receiver’s condition.
4. Assist as little as possible in tasks the senior can usually handle himself/herself. Just as it is not easy being a caregiver, it is not always easy being a care-receiver. The gradual loss of independence and control over just about everything is difficult to accept. Remember, seniors have the right to their dignity and pride.
5. Caregivers should express warmth and concern towards the welfare of the care-receiver. If the care-receiver has a poor self image or feelings of inferiority, the caregiver may have to provide reassurance while ignoring negative behavior. A caregiver must have patience (and stamina) for change in moods.
6. Be a good listener. Many times seniors may simply want you to listen. They want to share their stories. Caregivers must be careful to avoid put downs and choosing sides. Pay attention and be able to connect the dots between past, present, and future. Listen intuitively or use your sixth sense to hear underlying messages.
7. Smile a lot. Be a good friend and companion. Be as positive as possible.
8. When friends and family neglect to call or visit, don’t hesitate to remind them.
9. Ask for help. Advocate for what you need. Sharing the care of a loved-one benefits everyone.
10. Maintain your self-composure and avoid stress. Elder abuse can occur as a result of caregiver stress. It is imperative that you are aware of and deal with stress.
Rebecca Sharp Colmer, CSA, is a Certified Senior Advisor, as recognized by the Society of Certified Senior Advisors. The national organization has trained over 14,000 professionals across the country. As an Elder Care Advocate she has taken the educational initiative to become a professional leader in meeting the key needs and vital issues concerning senior citizens.
1. Every caregiver should know as much as possible about the care-receiver. You should know their characteristics and personality style. For example, you should know their likes, dislikes, family members, ailments, etc. You should know if the care-receiver is outgoing or reserved, task-oriented or people-oriented. Once you get to know them better you will be able to understand their needs and behavior patterns.
2. Every caregiver should know and understand his/her responsibilities, duties, and tasks. As a caregiver, you have a responsibility to be sensitive to the needs of the care-receiver, and to find a way to satisfy their needs. This may require you to enlist the help of others. The duties of the caregiver usually change and increase over a period of time. Set up and follow a care plan. Recording essential daily information will assist everyone on the Care Team. It also allows another caregiver to take your place fairly easily.
3. Stay updated on the care-receiver’s health condition. As a senior’s health deteriorates and more needs start to surface, it is important for the caregiver to find out how to cope with them. Keep a log of the care-receiver’s daily activities (medicine taken, food intake, sleep habits, temperament, etc.) so that you will always have a snapshot view of the care-receiver’s current health. This information will help the doctor get a more complete picture of the care-receiver’s condition.
4. Assist as little as possible in tasks the senior can usually handle himself/herself. Just as it is not easy being a caregiver, it is not always easy being a care-receiver. The gradual loss of independence and control over just about everything is difficult to accept. Remember, seniors have the right to their dignity and pride.
5. Caregivers should express warmth and concern towards the welfare of the care-receiver. If the care-receiver has a poor self image or feelings of inferiority, the caregiver may have to provide reassurance while ignoring negative behavior. A caregiver must have patience (and stamina) for change in moods.
6. Be a good listener. Many times seniors may simply want you to listen. They want to share their stories. Caregivers must be careful to avoid put downs and choosing sides. Pay attention and be able to connect the dots between past, present, and future. Listen intuitively or use your sixth sense to hear underlying messages.
7. Smile a lot. Be a good friend and companion. Be as positive as possible.
8. When friends and family neglect to call or visit, don’t hesitate to remind them.
9. Ask for help. Advocate for what you need. Sharing the care of a loved-one benefits everyone.
10. Maintain your self-composure and avoid stress. Elder abuse can occur as a result of caregiver stress. It is imperative that you are aware of and deal with stress.
Rebecca Sharp Colmer, CSA, is a Certified Senior Advisor, as recognized by the Society of Certified Senior Advisors. The national organization has trained over 14,000 professionals across the country. As an Elder Care Advocate she has taken the educational initiative to become a professional leader in meeting the key needs and vital issues concerning senior citizens.
Elder Home Care: 5 Benefits of Home Care for the Elderly
Most older people, if given the choice, would continue to live in their own homes as long as possible. Today, it is not necessary to move to a nursing home if you cannot manage all aspects of independent living. For seniors and the elderly who are able to remain in their homes, home care is an important option. Home health care can come in a variety of services, everything from nursing care and medication management to therapy and assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs). For many, home health care is the preferred means for receiving medical care.
Home health services can be provided by several types of highly trained health professionals including nurses, physical and occupational therapists, social workers, dieticians, nutritionists, home health aides and personal care workers. Home health services may include help with medication, meals, personal care, housecleaning, shopping, transportation and accessibility, and companionship.
Some of the benefits of elderly home care are:
1. Quicker discharge from the hospital. You may be allowed to leave the hospital sooner is your recuperative care can be provided by caregivers at home.
2. Privacy. Most elderly patients prefer the extra privacy of being able to recover in the comfort of their homes, as opposed to a clinical setting.
3. Family assistance. Because family and friends are essential to the healing process, they become a part of the care process at home.
4. Less isolation. Home care workers often connect patients to community resources such as support groups, senior services, and educational programs. Connections to these resources make it easier to get back to your normal life and become independent sooner.
5. Cost. Home health care is usually a lot less expensive than a stay in a skilled nursing facility.
Home health care may be provided through Medicare-certified agencies, individual licensees, or even unlicensed individuals who are willing to provide assistance. There are many important issues to consider in the process of selecting a home care provider. Be sure to discuss this matter with a trusted advisor, elder law attorney or family member before making a decision.
Rebecca Sharp Colmer knows personally the challenges and rewards of family caregiving. She has been a long-distance caregiver for her father-in-law. She is also a long-distance caregiver for her parents and is a caregiver coach for a friend whose husband has Alzheimer's disease.
Home health services can be provided by several types of highly trained health professionals including nurses, physical and occupational therapists, social workers, dieticians, nutritionists, home health aides and personal care workers. Home health services may include help with medication, meals, personal care, housecleaning, shopping, transportation and accessibility, and companionship.
Some of the benefits of elderly home care are:
1. Quicker discharge from the hospital. You may be allowed to leave the hospital sooner is your recuperative care can be provided by caregivers at home.
2. Privacy. Most elderly patients prefer the extra privacy of being able to recover in the comfort of their homes, as opposed to a clinical setting.
3. Family assistance. Because family and friends are essential to the healing process, they become a part of the care process at home.
4. Less isolation. Home care workers often connect patients to community resources such as support groups, senior services, and educational programs. Connections to these resources make it easier to get back to your normal life and become independent sooner.
5. Cost. Home health care is usually a lot less expensive than a stay in a skilled nursing facility.
Home health care may be provided through Medicare-certified agencies, individual licensees, or even unlicensed individuals who are willing to provide assistance. There are many important issues to consider in the process of selecting a home care provider. Be sure to discuss this matter with a trusted advisor, elder law attorney or family member before making a decision.
Rebecca Sharp Colmer knows personally the challenges and rewards of family caregiving. She has been a long-distance caregiver for her father-in-law. She is also a long-distance caregiver for her parents and is a caregiver coach for a friend whose husband has Alzheimer's disease.
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